I’m pretty darn lucky to have a husband who is a hands on dad and who parents well. For the most part we are a great team and support each other one hundred percent when it comes to raising our boys. We have heard all the talks, seen all the videos and bought all the t-shirts on how important it is, even when you want to throttle each other, to put on a united front.
Ok maybe we don’t have the T-shirts but someone could seriously start a business. I’m thinking something like When you want to lose your shit with your spouse, DON’T, your kids may be watching and then at the back Rather kill them in their sleep No? A bit too dark maybe? What about “Don’t forget to teach your kids good manners” and at the back “Yours suck balls!”?
I have to admit that most of the time, even when we have different opinions and feelings on something, we will smile in happy union when the kids are around – And then jump down each others throats later when the kids aren’t in sight. Kidding not kidding.
Lately however we both seem to be a little edgy with each other when it comes to the kids. We bounce between being the good calm parent and being the irrational crazy one who finds no other option but to go bat shit crazy over all the screaming. And just for the record, our youngest kid SCREAMS. The high-pitched screeching kind. The kind that gives you nightmares and makes your uterus dry up.
Lately it’s always one of us losing control while the other one roles their eyes and sits by watching the adult tantrum on display. The one rolling their eyes will sit back a little smugly, gently telling the other one to calm down. You know, in the superior I never lose my shit sorta way accompanied by the gentle talk on how you need to relax more and not let them get you so wound up. How they even got on that high horse is a question for another day.
Fast forward a few hours to when your kid spills water all over your vintage poster book and you come crashing down so hard off your high horse, you are forced to eat dirt. Literally. You forget the speech you so eloquently regurgitated a few hours before and perform the mother of all tantrums. It’s beautiful.
It’s funny how easy it is to forget to practice what you preach. Its even funnier how we bounce between the two, either cool as a cucumber or being quite ready to walk out the front door. Just us? You saying you have never wanted to put your blinkers on and walk out? As my husband likes to say after he has reached his threshold, That’s me, I’m tapping OUT!
While I get that its great that partners carry each other through the intensity of those moments and take turns bringing the other back down to earth in attempt to turn down the crazy, I wonder what good we are doing ourselves and our kids as we try to co parent, proving to them that we may have a little issue with consistency. And our own sanity.
Then again, I guess this what co parenting is all about. And more importantly I know I should be grateful to have a partner to co parent with! We may not always act the way we want to as parents, but we have each other there to pull us through the crazy times, to remind us to breath, to soften the blow, to tell us we are only human.
I have a partner in crime who reminds me everyday that I’m not the only parent who struggles to keep their shit together. He speaks from experience so I know its a trustworthy source.
Parenting is hard at the best of times and it’s often is a tug of war dealing with the highs and lows. But, the one comforting thought when the going gets tough and you are pulling with all your might on that on that rope? When things seem overwhelming and everything is hard? Something’s eventually gotta give.
It’s the law of the universe. That’s what I like to tell myself anyway.
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