We all know the feeling too well. That feeling that no matter how much we wish time would stand still, it only seems to go faster and faster. One minute we look at our tiny newborns and the next they are dribbling and chewing their hands with the promise of little teeth. In the blink of an eye they are walking and talking and just as quickly they are starting school.
And one of the hardest parts for me is that already I forgotten some of the cute things they used to say and the sweet things they would do when they were younger. My boys anyway. I’m realising too that it’s not the big events or elaborate parties or expensive holidays that stand out in my mind but more the small details that lately, I’m trying with all my heart to hold on to. I wish I could store all these memories and parts of them in tiny bottles and keep them there, safeguarded from my ageing mind. (Not actual parts, that would be creepy, I mean the different aspects of their individual personalities and the many things they say!!) I seem to be forgetting the details too easily and far to quickly, I want my blog to be a reminder of these special things, so that one day I can look back and go “Oh remember that?? Flip that was cute!”
I’ve already forgotten so much about Noah when he was baby. One thing he used to do, which we have no idea how it started, was say “Utah” (pronounce UH-TAH) for Yes. If we asked him if he wanted something he would nod and say “Utah!” We still to this day can’t remember where he got it from but these are the things I wish I could go back in time for, to hear him say it in his tiny little 2-year old voice.
I don’t ever want to forget the way Brody says his brother’s name. His nickname for Noah since he learnt to speak has been Nono (Naw-naw). And for obvious reasons it’s just about the sweetest thing when he talks to his big brother. Even now, at 4 he will talk to Noah about something quite serious and more grown-up, but always with the sweet little “Nono” in it somewhere. And it’s heart melting!
I don’t ever want to forget Brody’s laugh and the way his lips pout after every word that come out of his mouth. I swear God gave this child extra juicy lips for this very reason – so we could be entertained by them when he talks. His lisp obviously adds the cuteness and when the day comes that I’m told he needs speech therapy because of it, I will tell that person where to jump. 🙂
I don’t want to forget the way Hunter smiles at me with her open mouth, while squishing up her nose. Her eyes sparkle and I get glimpse into her beautiful little soul! I don’t want to forget her first few months filled with these kind of smiles, they are just about the most innocent expressions of beauty you will ever find.
I don’t want to forget Noah telling me every evening at bedtime, just as I leave the room that I’m the best mom in the world. Or in the mornings when he leaves the front door with dad he shouts “See you at the window!” I have to run to the lounge and say goodbye to them with Hunter in my arms and we wave and blow kisses and tell each other we love each other. I know that these sweet moments throughout our day that have become part of our daily routines, are the parts I’m going to miss most about them being small. It’s not always the big planned outings that make for great memories, it’s the small everyday little moments, where the unplanned magic happens! It’s the things that are unique only to your story hey?
I don’t want to forget Brody and his love for all his friends. The way he loves the people in his life and pursues his friendships. He is a soul connector and it’s the most precious thing to see how he communicates with his friends. He talk about his friends with a level of loyalty and maturity that is far beyond his years. He inspires even me to do friendship well.
I don’t want to forget the way Hunter looks at her dad, already the apple of his eye. Her face lights up and she knows him now. The are bonded for life. I love seeing her face squish up and she smiles her open-mouth smile when her daddy talks to her. I see the love there between them already and it’s too precious.
I don’t want to forget the way Noah says “Mom can I tell you something?” at the beginning of just about every sentence. As much as we have told him he is free to speak as much and as often as he likes and without our permission, we have come to realise it’s his special way of making sure we really listen. I love that he wants my undivided attention and my praise. I hope this never changes.
I don’t want to forget how Brody always has his head in the clouds and is often bumping into things. We giggle about this a lot and so does he. It’s just who he is at this time of his life and as least once a day he will walk into a wall or trip over himself. It sounds funny but this is what makes him who he is, my little clumsy cat who is always dreaming.
I don’t want to forget Hunter nuzzling into my neck when she’s tired and “talking” herself to sleep. Her gurgles become moans and then they become louder and louder, almost like she is telling me something and then she falls asleep ‘mid-sentence’. I can’t tell you how sweet it is, like she’s communicating with me already and finding comfort in me. A feeling I can never really describe. A feeling I will never tire of.
I don’t want to forget what it’s like to get caught in a laughing fit with Noah. We laugh so hard we can’t breath or talk or look at each otter for longer than 2 seconds. He will start off giggling and before you know he can’t even get a word out and we will laugh and laugh for what feels like an eternity. It’s food for the soul this kind of innocent laughter – there’s no clever or calculated punch line or naughty language. It’s usually something silly like a fart or something funny someone said, and always leaves me feeling happy about the fact that I have kid who loves to laugh.
I don’t ever want to forget the pizza nights and movie nights and getting up on their top bunk to read stories and talk about things that they love. Their faces when we tell them we are going out for ice-cream after dark or feeling their hands grip mine so tightly as we jump over waves at the oceans edge. I don’t want to forget what it feels like to be their best friend but also their primary teacher and guide, the person who they trust most. And I never want to forget how incredibly blessed I am to be their mom, the person who is lucky enough to bear witness to their lives and watch them grow up. What a privilege it is.
There are just so many things like this, that at this moment in time I’m trying my utmost to hold on to. I know they won’t be doing these things for too much longer and I know soon enough I will slowly start to forget. And when I begin to let these memories fade and the details of life lived with my precious kids slip my weary mind, I hope that I can come back and read these posts and me reminded of their innocence and their joy. (Probably at a time when they are giving me grief and I’m dealing with all their teenage angst no doubt.) Because motherhood is many things. It’s tiring and relentless, but these are the things that make it all worthwhile and want to do it over and over and over again.
Share some of you special things with me that you don’t ever want to forget, I REALLY want to know xxx