Surviving a traveling husband without losing your shit is a little bit like getting through suicide hour without a bottle of wine. I mean it’s doable, it can just be frustrating, stressful and all kinds of exhausting.
While part of me hates even the anticipation of my husband’s departure on long trips, I’m realizing this time how there are parts to him being gone that I actually enjoy. Did I really just say that out loud? Good grief, what has become of me?
In all seriousness, I have realized that with our kids being that much older, it’s really not as hard as it used to be. I mean they feed, bath and dress themselves (for the most part). They play nicely together 90% of the time. (The other 10% of the time I’m doing my head in over all the screaming!) They sleep well and are happy watching TV on their own while I see to stuff. They are generally quite well-behaved, sweet little boys. Don’t tell anyone but I’m actually thinking of keeping them.
So it got me thinking of the UPSIDE to a traveling husband and just how nice certain aspects of it are. Lets unpack them shall we?
- I get to have Noah sleep with me in the bed. While some of you would assume I would want my bed to myself, you would be wrong!! I LOVE having my kids to snuggle in bed. Brody is funny like that and although he loves a good cuddle, he HAS to sleep alone. Some seriously good training on my part no doubt. But we have a rule that when dad is gone Noah can steal dad’s spot next to mine. And I simply LOVE it!
- I don’t have to reserve TV remote rights. In other words I can watch anything I damn please. While we both have a very similar taste in Series and movies and I’m not ALWAYS your typical ROM COM only girl, I love being able to just flick around while deciding what I am in the mood for. And yes sometimes that involves watching an overly emotional girly drama that has me ugly crying on the couch. The other upside is being able to do this without judgment – nobody needs to watch their other half wiping snot off their chin.
- I get to make simple meals that don’t involve two meats and three veg. My husband isn’t the most demanding guy when it comes to food, but there are certain things that just aint gonna cut it. When he’s away, we could have eggs for dinner without the dreaded What’s for mains? question popping up.
- One less pair of under rods to pick up off the bathroom floor. The other day I came into the bathroom to find all three of them stripped down taking a leak at the same time. While the view of their three cute little behinds warmed my heart, the clothes they discarded and left for me to clean up on the bathroom floor only warmed my cheeks and reminded me that boys will be boys. SO one less boy to worry about, in all his lovely filth, is a real PLUS!
- My friends, who on an average day take the cake for most supportive friends on the planet are that much more supportive when hubs is gone. They are the kind of friends who pop in with pizza and wine or invite you over for late afternoon play dates to feed your kids. The same can be said for my mom who goes from seeing my kids once a day, to seeing them twice a day when I’m holding the fort alone. The support from family and friends is that much more noticeable or evident when you “really need it”.
- I get to wear his clothes. Yes I’m one of those wives who love to dig in their husband’s closet, especially in winter when you need big layers for those lazy days at home. Working for a brand like Nike, means he has the best range of winter apparel in the universe. I’m wearing a pair of his harem track pants right now and he will be lucky if he gets them back on his return. Lets set the record straight here peeps – He’s going to New York for the second time without me – As it turns out, I can be spiteful like that.
- The kids are actually better behaved when he is gone! I don’t know if it’s that whole â€˜not having two parents to play against each other’ thing (Not that we ever let them do that *cough cough) or if they have learnt from previous experience that they dare not mess with a highly on edge, tired single mom, but they are ANGELS when he is away. Maybe I just need to thank my lucky stars or the angels in heaven for keeping the fighting, bickering and tantrums to a minimum. Touch wood.
- I get to switch off and day-dream and go from one activity to the other without fear of getting my eyes gouged out. My husband takes commitment very seriously and once I’ve said I’m going to watch a movie? Well, lets just say I better sit my tush on the couch and watch that movie. I’m not allowed to go to the bathroom, or make tea, or look at my phone or blink without him pausing and asking What now?? It’s a commitment I have to see through. (Unless there’s ice cream waiting to be served. Then he will patiently pause waiting for his desert.) So when he’s gone I can move between activities at my own pace. Heck, I can watch a movie, write a blog post, make tea, run a bath and chat to a friend on the phone all at the same time. Which is exactly what I did last night. As women we can do that right? As tired as we sometimes are at the end of the day, we still feel the need to always be DOING.
- I get to take the kids to spur for supper. He would rather eat 2 day old lasagna that walk within 10 feet of any Spur. (I think it might have something with Noah being bit on the nipple TWICE in the play area when he was two, I dunno.) I’m like Kids play area, yummy ribs and red wine by the glass, what more could you possibly want? While it may not be my favorite place on earth, the kiddos love it and as mom who fears no judgment in times like these, I just drink my way through the bad bits.
- I can play my own music and it doesn’t involve the same repetitive beats that make you want to cut all your electrics. I put on MY music while making supper or after gym and I realize how much I miss my own jams. Good golly, did I just say Jams? Tunes, I put on my tunes and dance my heart out.
Look, I’m only on day 3, but so far I’m knees deep in a three-day Pretty Little Liars marathon (He would be gagging), I’ve been invited to my folks for dinner and a sleepover (where my mom dotes on the kids and I from start to finish), I’ve been invited by a friend for a Spa night on Wednesday (She thinks I could really do with a stress relieving back massage because it must be so HARD without the support) and I’ve had another friend arrive at my house with pizza and wine. I’m sitting here wearing all his snuggly clothes (he would have barked at me to take them off a long ago), my kids are being little legends (Noah even went as far as tidying up his room and making his bed this morning without me even asking!!) and I’ve got my jams, I mean tunes, blasting while I hang up the lighter than normal load of washing.
So it would seem I’ve totally got this.
In fact I think we need to add a little more chaos to the situation. Another baby? What you guys think? I need to convince him and I need your help!!