I wish there was a better way to say it guys. But there you have it. If teething were a person I would tell it to kiss my white furry ass. And then I would kick him (OH it has to be a man!) in the teeth. Just to get even.

My seven month-old baby has gone from a chilled, happy and content baby to a clingy, squirmy and miserable one. Not all the time. No. Not when her grandparents are around or when I’m moaning to my friends and neighbours. Oh no then she’s all smiles and gurgles cute battering eye-lids, which then just makes me look like a big fat liar who enjoys a good moan. But my mom neighbours, they know. They can see it mapped out in the tired circles under my eyes and the almost desperate sound in my voice.

Seriously, I wouldn’t lie to you guys though. It’s like she’s cutting vampire fangs or something! Hands are always in the mouth, gnawing on her entire fist (is it possible for baby to choke on her own hand?) or rubbing her jaw and ears. And the worst part obviously is that she doesn’t sleep for longer than 20 minutes during the day and wakes up several times at night. Do you feel my pain?? DO YOU???? DO YOOOOOOOU???

Sorry, It would seem I’m a little wound up. I don’t mean to take it out on you.

And yes it’s heartbreaking. And yes I realise she’s the one whose dealing with the bulk of the pain and frustration here. Yes I should be thinking only about how this is effecting her. But cry me a freaking river, this mama ain’t so sure I can handle much more of it. The clinginess, the broken sleep, the lack of routine, the not being able to get anything done. Good golly Miss Molly.

We started off with the less invasive, more gentle approach to “itchy gums” (*snort snort) :  biltong sticks, cold freezer teethers, hard veggie sticks and teething beads. Of course when we discovered that these didn’t offer very much real long-term relief (like longer than I dunno, it takes to peel an apple?) we turned the more serious stuff like teething gels, powders and good old paracetamol.

It wasn’t long after this that we found ourselves at a pharmacy in our area (known for their secret teething concoction), on our hands and knees begging for the hardcore stuff we had heard rumours about. (The stuff we were adament we would never use with baby number one.)

Brendon’s exact words were ” I heard you guys make some miracle stuff for teething babies.” (OBVS with a little desperation in his voice)

To which the pharmacist gave a very subtle nod.

Brendon, realising it was clearly something that was meant to be kept on the DL looked around with caution and proceeded ….. “Is it going to save my marriage?”

The pharmacist nodded again, this time smiling.

He came back with brown plastic bottle with a sticker label printed on it. It simply read ” TEETHING SYRUP”.

“What’s the recommended dose?” my usually overly-cautious husband asked a little too quickly. (What happened to playing it cool hubs?)

“It’s quite strong so just give half the dose to start, maybe 2-2,5 mls” he suggested.

“Is that for her of for us?”

At this point I think the pharmacist started to worry. Of course it was all joke joke laugh laugh but the truth is, we were pretty desperate. Whether or not we would actually drink strong teething mixture to take the edge off our anxiety and knock us out for a full night’s sleep is not so much the point, but I will say that our wine bill has gone up quite bit over the last little while. So I guess anything is possible.

I guess I’m just at the end of my tether and like with all challenging phases I’m reaching out to you guys to ask what’s helped you. Perhaps you’re going to tell me to just ride it out and say something that you mean to be encouraging like “this too shall pass”. (Please don’t)

Remind me that I’m not alone, and that it’s ok and normal for me to feel like this. I need something. Anything to make me feel like I’m not a terrible mother for not being more sympathetic and patient and tolerant of her neediness.

Big love,

Tired mama

*Disclaimer : Just incase I have to say it. I am not a doctor and in no way should you take doctor’s advice from me. I do what I feel is right for me and my baby and although somewhat casual here, I do ask all the right questions and ensure we give the correct dosages. Please use medicine wisely and with caution. Always follow instructions given by your doctor and pharmacist and of course if your child suffers from any conditions and illnesses, speak to your doctor before administering any drugs of any kind. 

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