As a mom to three kids, I’ve come to accept that it’s quite normal for us to go through the occasional dip on this motherhood journey. Phases of feeling especially tired and not being able to keep afloat with even the ordinary and mundane tasks that are required of us.
But for the last few months I’ve felt myself getting progressively more tired as the weeks have gone by. As someone who is familiar with the exhaustion that can come with being highly aneamic I just put it down to that and carried on with my supplements. But no matter how much Ferramed or Iron tonic I was taking this tiredness was seeping into my bones and causing me to wonder if it couldn’t be something more sinister. Yup, I would lie awake at night and wonder if I should start writing my final will and what I would want to say to my husband and children.
So I eventually made a doctor’s appointment after weeks of procrastination. (I don’t know why but going to the doctor always feels like a huge mammoth task to me. I just put it off for as long as I can, unless I’m half dying and get dragged there by my mother or husband. 🙂 ) I described to my doctor all my symptoms, almost knowing with certainly that she would agree that something wasn’t right. She agreed that some blood work might solve the problem and so after drawing some blood and giving me a vitamin B injection in the bum she sent me home to wait for the results.
Waiting for blood test results is never fun. No matter what you ways wonder if there is some small chance they are going to call you with fatal news. There’s an episode on Grey’s Anatomy where a husband brings his wife into hospital for the gazilionth time because she thinks she’s dying from some chronic disease or skin rash or brain tumour or something! On this visit they discover she’s over-treated herself so drastically (for illnesses she never even had) over the years to the point that she’s has no healthy bacteria left in her gut. Turns out she needs bacteria from her husbands poop to restore the balance. Yup, poop! But in order for him to agree he wants her to admit that what she thought was something serious on one of her trips to hospital was just a pimple. I love it, he looks at her and says “Sorry Honey, No poop for you!” She cannot bring herself to admit it and says “I think a headache might be a tumour, a lump in my tummy might be cancer, we have so little control over these things. There are so many scary things you can die from in this world, how can you not be scared too?”
Okay now I may not be that big of a hypochondriac, but I do know where that fear can stem from. I resonate with her feelings of anxiety and worry. We see so many people around us dying or being treated for serious illnesses and it can be hard not to let your mind wonder. It can be hard not to put yourself in their shoes.
So finding out that there wasn’t actually anything seriously wrong with me was no doubt a huge relief. I always take a moment to really let that sink in. I never want to take my health for granted or stop counting my blessings for things like being able to eat a healthy diet and vitamin supplements, for medical aid and good health care. And a body that has arms and legs and beating heart! I always want to appreciate my health and pay my body the respect and appreciation it deserves.
But then of course I’m left with asking “Well what the heck IS wrong with me then? Why am a always so damn tired no matter what I do? Why do I feel like my body is shutting down come 2pm? What is going on that I can’t get though a single day without wanting to collapse at some point? why do I feel nauseas and get bad headaches so often?”
I guess it could simply be another case of the motherhood virus. I’ve gone through it before, those times and seasons in life where juggling it all and raising small humans simply takes its toll. It’s not easy looking after three kids who are all at different stages and who all demand different things from me from the moment they open their eyes to the moment they rest their head on their pillows. All while trying to work from home and keep up with everyday admin.
I’m trying to get better at reading my body and just making more time to dot things that allow me to relax. I think I’ve been putting too much pressure on myself to train and run long distances and I’ve definitely slowed down with that. At least until I’m feeling like my energy levels are back to where they should be.
Any moms out there suffering from the Motherhood Virus? Any tips or supplements you use that have made a big difference to your energy levels. I’m going for Neuronbian (Vit B) injections and have the capsules which I take daily. But I’m open to trying anything else too!
It’s not always easy guys, I know I’m not the only one feeling like this!
Keep on truck’n mamas!! xxx