Morning sickness is a crazy thing. In the beginning you kind of welcome it, you may even go so far as to say you enjoy it, because well, it’s a reassuring sign that everything is happening as it should, that the baby is attaching itself, that you are in fact “Up the duff”. Of course when you realise that many many women don’t experience a hint of morning sickness in their first trimester and still go on to experience perfectly healthy pregnancies you begin to resent the feeling of wanting to puke your guts out everyday.
I mean, Good grief! I feel like I’ve I’ve survived a two month hangover. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine the first trimeter to take such a toll on me. I mean I had some morning sickness with Brody but that was about it. For the last two months I have honestly felt like have been hit by a bus from both sides. The worst part is that I started off really positive and in high hopes that this would be the best pregnancy yet (I like to think I have so much control over these things right?) And I got off to a really good start initially. Then at around 7 weeks the morning sickness hit with a vengeance – like a stealth ninja just waiting to attack when I least expected it. Just as the smug smile started to appear on my lips thinking I had escaped it’s nasty wrath.
Luckily mine wasn’t so much of a head-in-the toilet kind of morning sickness although I did spend a good couple of moments face to face (Mine being the greener of the two) with the toilet bowl wondering how a a baby the size of pea could wreck such havoc with grown-ass woman such as myself. But I certainly felt the constant queasy feeling in the pit of my stomach for the better part of my days. Still, I always reminded myself it was for a good cause and that in the end it would be worth it.
Then the exhaustion hit. And cry me a freaking river, I could barely function I was so tired. My body would literally go into shut down come 12pm everyday. I felt like a robot malfunctioning and there was not much other than sleep that could fix it. I would wake up feeling a little “off” but after a shower usually felt decent enough to start a semi-normal day. And then by 12pm (sometimes earlier) I literally couldn’t move or think or talk. There were so many conversations cut short and thoughts that would abruptly dissolve into a hazy confusion and I would literally just sit and stare. It’s an exhaustion you can’t really explain, and only women who have experienced this kind of tiredness in pregnancy can fully relate and appreciate the debilitating effect it can have. Your head gets heavy, sometimes you can feel a dull headache beginning to form, your body becomes lethargic and it’s a struggle to keep your eyes open without looking like you are auditioning for a role in the Hangover. It’s not a normal tired, it feels quite literally like someone (we wont mention any names) is sucking the life right out of you. And so indeed they are.
Add to that the fact that I have two little boys to see to and that a large chunk go my first trimester fell over the holiday period meant I felt eager (Ok let’s be honest, I felt PRESSURE) to ensure my kids were having at least an OKAY time. I mean, I didn’t want them despising this baby before it even arrives! So I tried my hardest to put my big girl panties on – which for the record are resembling granny panties more and more these days with my waist already spreading thicker than the butter on my daily toasties. (Cravings and food aversions for another day!)
To top it all off, I got my first bad cold of the pregnancy while we were on holiday, which means I can safely say these last two months have been nothing short of a real treat. (And helped me adopt a keen sense of sarcasm) Now that it’s over and I’m no longer feeling 10 different kinds of shit, I feel ever so smug as I wave farewell to the first trimester in all it’s ghastly gloom. Toodaloo old friend it’s been real. Do let the door hit you on the way out.
Here’s looking forward to the second trimester and actually starting to enjoy this pregnancy because that’s really what I have every intention of doing. With it being the last I want to really enjoy it and use the time to bond with my unborn child. I want to enjoy the anticipation of his/her arrival and marvel at the sheer wonder and miracle of growing a baby in my tummy! So worry not, you can expect less moaning from here on out, only positive happy vibes and whole lot of gratitude for what is to come.
‘Til next time xxx