Guys I thought I knew what I was doing. I even wrote a guest post on entitled Potty Traing 101 (when shit hits the fan) for Red lips and darling Adventures. As it turns out I know jack shit about shit. For real. Potty training is a bloody mind game and its doing my mind in. Yes my friends, I’m losing the poop battle.
It’s day 10 and my child is yet to pooh in his potty. With the average bowel movement of once per day, you can do the math. It’s a decent amount of poop to be cleaning out of undies, off floors and out of pants. Yes i hear you all shouting at me “Why on earth are you not using the huggies pull-ups or any other training pants on the market??”
Well thanks so much for asking. You see I just thought I would go with what worked for my eldest son. With Noah, he was the exact same age (almost to the day) And we went cold turkey. He was potty trained in 48 hours and we never saw another daytime nappy again. It turns out Brody thinks it’s all a huge joke. He wees but only when i ask him to and when he craps himself for the umpteenth time he laughs as though he has done it just to piss me off. And piss me off he does. I was not expecting this.
The first time i lost my patience was when i couldn’t get the trampoline zip undone in time and he proceeded to wee all over it while i watched fighting with the zip screaming “Damit NOOOOOOOO…. wait just wait…. HOLD it, oh crap” only to realise our new neighbours were right behind me, speedily walking past me so as not to get caught in the cross fire. The second time i lost it was when those very same neighbours were parking their car and I was having another meltdown shouting “You are a big boy, you can’t poop in your pants, you need to pooh in the potty! Please boy, this is getting ridiculous!” I looked outside our open window to see these delightful people walking passed with horror in their eyes. Mom of the year award right there right?
Whatever they were thinking it was probably along the lines of, “That poor child, i hope he learns to poop in the potty real soon because that nutty woman is NOT going to handle another day of it. She is On the verge of a full-blown breakdown.”
And as much as i love my kid, they couldn’t be more right. I’m going crazy here. I hate poop on a good day, but this is just torture. I’m giving it another 2 days and then I’m adding nappies back to the grocery list.
I’ve tried treats, rewards, reading book while sitting and waiting and sitting and waiting and sitting and waiting. I’ve been patient and loving, I’ve asked roped Noah in to demonstrate the procedure first hand. I’ve jumped up and down in over eager excitement when he sees. I’ve played it so cool like it it’s no big deal. I’ve talked to him.
And now I’ve started to shout at him.
I’m at my wit’s end. Is he too young? Please for the love of sanity, tell me what I’m doing wrong?