So you started school today. Just like that you are all grown up. Just like that you are a big boy. Well mostly.
You held my hand a little tighter when we walked into your classroom but you were soon at ease in your new environment. I wanted you to want me more, to still feel like I was needed.
At the same time I felt comforted knowing you are so ready and confident going into this new chapter.
I’ve come home and don’t know what to do without you here, in my space, always asking me questions and telling me stories about what you are doing. I miss the shadow that would follow me around the house, the sticky hands on my keyboard as I try to work. Everything is so quiet and although I once thought I would do anything do for this peace and quiet, all I want now is to hear you laugh and shout and squirm with delight like you always do.
I sit here wondering what you are doing and if your teacher knows just how special you are to me. I have no doubt she will soon find out. It’s impossible for her to not fall in love with you! I wonder if you have been drawn to any of the other kids, if they are being kind to you and if you are remembering what I have taught you about being kind to others.
Do you miss me too?
I wonder if you were happy and content or if you are a little scared and unsure. I wonder if you are engaging well with the other kids and participating in the activities. I know that when someone wins your trust, you will be their friend for life. It may take time and that’s OK.
I wonder if you know where the toilet is and whether you will be to shy to tell your teacher if you need to go.
I can’t seem to shake the urge to call the school and ask if you are OK, if you have been asking for me. I can’t seem to go through my usual routine without feeling like something is missing: my sidekick who had spent almost every morning with me for the past 2 and half years.
Do you feel me with you even though I’m not there?
I wonder if your tummy is full enough and whether you ate enough breakfast before you left.
I know these are all silly concerns because if I really think about it, you have been ready for a very long time and its time you learn to stand on your own two feet for small amounts of time. We have both grown so accustomed to being around each other all the time that I think this will be good for us.
Are you thinking about me? Even just a little?
I’m so excited to hear all your stories and see you blossom and shine. I can’t wait to see you learn and grow and make new friends.
Brody Bear you are the sunshine in my days and I’m more proud of you than you will ever know. Go out there my darling son and carry on touching lives. You were born to change the world.
Mama bear xxx