To my Brody on your first birthday:.
You came into this world so calm. So beautiful! From the moment you took your first breath, I knew you I would never be the same. I knew you were going to change me. All over again. You surprised me. You surprised me with how much love my heart could hold. With how my heart could expand so wide, so deep. I loved you from the second our eyes met. There was no need for introductions or small talk. We had known each other long before this moment. I had always known you. Maybe before you were even conceived, I knew you. This is where you belonged, it was written in the stars. God had ordained it.
You were so small, with dark hair covering your perfect little head. Gorgeous dark eyes and pink skin. You were squidgy and plump and delicious. Better yet, you were mine. How had I ever wondered what you were going to look like? Your face was so familiar to me already, as though I had dreamed of it for an entire lifetime. There was no doubt that you had grown inside my womb, formed perfectly by a God who had placed you with us. The perfect gift.
When we took you home I couldn’t take my eyes off you. For days, I studied every part of you and beamed with pride at the perfection God had created. I constantly asked myself Is he really mine? and as the months went by I began to discover new things about you. You took things in with your curious eyes and smiled only when you felt like it. Your dark blue eyes changed to brown, just as I had secretly hoped. The color changed but the warmth and tenderness remained. You discovered your voice early and loved to use it to get my attention. It was easy for me to stop whatever I was doing. Everything else could wait. You were cute. You were serious. You were funny and happy and sweet. You were unique. Truth is you were perfect. You were ours.
And now today you are one! It hasn’t quite hit me and part of me I’m sure is in denial. How can my baby be one? But the other part of me is so excited and proud. Proud of everything I see you becoming. You are even more beautiful than I ever imagined. So full of Character and charm. You are taking your first steps and learning so many new things. When you walk a distance and fall over we all laugh and you clap your hands so hard. Its like you know you are the cleverest boy in the world. We laugh at you a lot and we call you Mr. serious because sometimes that exactly what you are. You can go from frowning to a full-blown smile in a single moment. Your eyebrows tell a whole story all on their own. Sometimes when you find someone funny you scrunch your nose up and smile at them. Your eyes and face sparkle when this happens. When you think something is very funny, you laugh so hard you lose your breath and gasp for air in between giggles. I love hearing this laughter fill our home. A home that has become that much richer with you in it.
But today as I look back and reflect on your first year, I can’t help but cling desperately to the baby I see in front of me. The first year with all its firsts, with all its wondrous excitement, with all its madness and uncertainty, with all it’s magic and mystery. I know that it only gets better but the reality is our first year with you has been one of the best years of our lives and being your mommy for one year today has been such a privilege, such a joy. So yes, I look forward to this next phase and look forward to the new joy it will bring but truth is, this first year is one I could do a thousand times over. Its one filled with such tender moments and special memories. And its most certainly one I will never forget.
So thank you for being ours. Thank you for bringing me copious amounts of joy and for creeping so deeply into my heart. Thank you for having the cutest cheeks in the world. Thank you for letting me bite them.
I love you more than furry bunnies.
Happy birthday my little boy!
Your mamma xxx

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