I have been blessed with a really amazing mom who as it turns out is a rather outstanding granny too! Its been amazing watching her grandparent our kids over the last 4 years and seeing her patience and unconditional love being exercised with them every single day.
It got me wondering “Was she always like this? Was she like this with my brother and I?” Its made me stop and ask the question “What has my own mother learnt as her role as a mother and what have been some of her greatest lessons.”
So I thought, what better way to understand her journey than to ask her myself! Here my mom, Sue Wallace, AKA Gagi, talks motherhood, faith, big life lessons and the power of knowledge.
1.What kind of a mother would you say were you? Did you stay at home/work? Were you chilled/stressed? Overprotective/free?
Whatever we are as a person, will affect how we parent, so if we haven’t adequately dealt with our past issues, we will operate with those unhelpful things clouding our judgements. Good parenting is always for the benefit of the child, and with the childs good in mind. I think I had a lack of training in that, and was too often impatient, didn’t listen enough to my children, and was more interested in how they fitted into my life ie demanding good behaviour because I needed to have good children that would reflect well on me.
Looking back, I was over protective and was probably perceived by my children as often controlling, even if it was my best efforts to want good for them.
2. What were some of the things you think you did really well as a mom, things you look back and are proud of?
Its much easier to list the regrets, than it is the things you did well!! Moms can beat up on themselves!!
Some things I did well:
O gosh I’ll have to come back to this one:..I cant think of any! (You’ll have to ask my kids!!) Or maybe ask them what I’m doing well as a granny!!
3. What are some of the things you regret? In hindsight what could you have done better?
Done better???? Do you have the time?
– Been more patient. God is soooo patient with me!
– Not to have EVER shouted at my kids:..EVER. If you are gentle in your character, you wont even be able to shout at your children. Firm and authoritative yes, but NEVER SHOUT!
– Spent more time discipling my children to be like Jesus:.or maybe I should have spent more time being discipled by Jesus. What you are you will pass on to your children.
– I regret that I didn’t have some older women in my life to coach me in my short comings.
– I regret that I didn’t read some good books on parenting.
– I regret not being a bit more front footed in my parenting. We cant be always playing catch up:.we have to stay ahead to parent well. Be prepared for the next stage your kids are going to go through.
I could go on::
4. What did motherhood teach you when you were thrown into it head first?
I think like any new mother, I realized that I was totally not up for the task. Fortunately I had a great mom that was available to help and she lived close by. Plus a very supportive husband and family.
5. How have things changed since you were a mom? Modern day motherhood in comparison to when things were a little slower and we didn’t have so many facts and sources at your disposal.
I think in some ways, things were less complicated. There were ways to do things and if you stayed within those boundaries, and did what everyone else was doing, you did fine. But there is something to be said for what moms have available to them today, that really can empower them to be the best they can in what is an extremely complex role. Moms groups, amazing books, resources at the press of a button. Modern day motherhood is much more challenging, especially as children grow older and are faced with so many things that didn’t face our children back in the day.
6. What are some of the disappointments you have faced as a parent?
Disappointments were usually around bad or wrong decisions that our kids made, but that is all part of growing up. There isn’t anything that hasn’t been fully redeemed, but the key thing is remembering that God is ultimately in control , which is always tricky when you’re in the middle of a big disappointment| challenge.
7. Do you ever stop worrying about your children? What has been your greatest source of help/wisdom/support?
I don’t think I will ever stop being concerned about my children, and if I ever do:.there are grandchildren!! There will always be someone to keep me on my knees!! My greatest source of comfort is knowing that God has an amazing track record when it comes to my children, and He’s never let me down:.not ever!
8. What, in your opinion is the greatest life lesson/thing/piece of advice you can ever leave your children with?
I probably have many:.but one big one is You know WHO you are when you know WHOSE you are. Its much more important to know that our identity is in the One who created us, and then become all that He has created us to be and do.
9. What is your favorite thing about being a mother?
The older I get:..(and I’m VERY young ha ha!) I realize that a mother lives for the benefit of others. It’s a wonderfully rewarding thing to see my children becoming parents:and doing much better than I ever did too! Motherhood should be the gift that keeps on giving. Well for me it is anyway! I’m mothering all over again as a grandmother:.and its even better this time round.
10. What advice can you give moms with kids of all ages? Even the seasoned moms who have children who are older.
Motherhood teaches you things about yourself all the time. The good and the bad!! Motherhood is about the person YOU are becoming. It’s often said that our children grow us up, and that’s so true. Whatever your children are going through is an opportunity for YOU to grow in your faith, for YOU to learn, to ask for wisdom from God, and for YOU to understand that Motherhood really is all about YOU!
Thanks mom for being so transparent and hopefully giving some good insight for the young moms struggling with these kids of things.
Love Leigh x