Today my husband went for the snip. Yup, the good old vasectomy my friends. Is it weird that I’m writing this and telling the whole world that our days of baby making are behind us? For some it very well may be a case of TMI, but I guess as a blogger I’ve become accustomed to sharing some pretty intimate stuff with you over the years. You’ve read all three of my birth stories, had inside scoop into our home and personal lives and even got a glimpse into our sex life from time to time.
So I really don’t see how talking about this should be any different, and truth is I don’t think anyone should feel ashamed or embarrassed talking about such things. It’s life! We talk about family planning, we talk about birthing babies in graphic detail and mom and dads around the world have begun to talk very openly about their personal experiences as parents. Some even go as far as taking about the colour of their babies poop in online.parenting forums So why should talking about birth control, vasectomies in this case, be any different?
We have three children. Three beautiful and healthy children who I thank God for everyday. Being a mother to these three gorgeous souls is like a gift that just keeps on giving and I couldn’t be more proud as I watch them all grow and develop, sometimes to fast for my mama heart to bear. And sure if money grew on trees and I had a bigger house and age (and sanity) on my side, I may have been inclined to have another baby, (or two), but I the truth is I feel like our little family is complete. And not just because we had a little girl after 2 boys. No I feel like our little family unit is just the right amount of crazy for us. We are quite satisfied with our family dynamic and I know in my heart that having another baby wouldn’t be wise.
In saying that, of course there is still that painful pinch in my heart as I accept that this is it. So final. That this stage of our lives has come to an end and that I will never experience any of it again. I know it’s only natural to feel these things as I come to terms with the finality of it all and accept that our time of making babies is now certainly, without a doubt behind us.
But what’s also great is knowing that we can relax around the whole birth control thing and I dunno maybe even get back to be naughty teenagers again, without all the hassle if you know what I mean? At the same time it also feels so “grown-up”, like we are those annoyingly responsible adults we always used to roll our eyes at many moons ago. I like feeling like we making good, healthy decisions as a couple, a team.
Maybe you and your significant other are also at this stage in your life and have also decided that it’s the end of the baby making road. Maybe you, like us, have come to the decision that this one rests on the man and that you have done your fair share of hospital time. (Ladies don’t forget to keep rubbing that part in :)) In all seriousness, I hope this post will help you do what you need to do to get all your ducks in a row and so you can look to your future with less worry and a whole lot more freedom as a sexually active couple.
WHAT IS A VASECTOMY EXACTLY? (This excerpt is from Men’s Health) Read the full article here.
A Vasectomy is a 20- to 30-minute procedure which involves blocking or cutting off the pathways that allow sperm to be ejaculated, thus making you sterile.
There’s still a risk you could get your girl pregnant: The odds of impregnating a woman are about 1 in 2,000 after a vasectomy, Köhler says. Those are long odds—much longer than those offered by birth control or condoms. But the bottom-line is that the procedure is not infallible, he adds. How is that possible? In rare cases, there’s a ”spontaneous reconnecting” or reopening of one of the tubes that carries sperm from your testicles.
You’re not immediately sterile: Consider this your best excuse ever to masturbate: “You need to ejaculate 20 or 30 times after the procedure to clear out your existing sperm reserves,” says Köhler. There are still “bullets in the chamber,” he adds, and a lot of men don’t realize this. (It’s also a reason why lawsuits involving botched vasectomies are pretty common.) Köhler recommends you set up a follow-up exam with your doctor a few weeks after your surgery to confirm that your semen is swimmer-free before having sex.
There are risks—but not many: “Don’t Google ‘vasectomy risks’ because you’ll see all kinds of crazy stuff,” Köhler advises. Following the surgery, there’s a very slight chance you’ll experience an infection or a hematoma, which is the accumulation of blood in your scrotum. If you develop a hematoma, you may have to wait a few weeks for it to go down, or a second, small procedure may be necessary to address the problem, Köhler says. Even if that happens, your risk of losing sexual ability or suffering negative long-term effects is essentially zero, he adds.
You will NOT experience a drop in testosterone: “Your hormone levels are not affected by the procedure,” Köhler says. In fact, he says some men experience a boost in virility and sexual function because they’re no longer stressed or anxious about possibly impregnating their wife or girlfriend.
Insurance companies love to cover vasectomies—unless it’s reversed:“Vasectomies save insurers money because covering children is expensive,” Köhler says. But if you decide later that you want kids, having your tubes reconnected could cost you $10,000 to $15,000 out of pocket, he says. Also, while a vasectomy is one of the most routine, safest surgeries you can undergo, reversing a vasectomy is somewhat more challenging. “If it’s been a while since you had your vasectomy—like, more than eight years—you only have about a 50-50 shot of regaining your ability to reproduce,” Köhler says. Bottom line: Don’t rush into the decision to have your tubes cut.
(Written by BY MARKHAM HEID)
So what bit of encouragement can I give you from our experience? Well this is what I can tell you:
- Making an appointment is really easy. It involves a pre-op consultation with a specialist where he/she will ask your partner some serious questions to make sure he is sure about his decision. He will even ask if his wife (AKA YOU!) are in agreement and whether you have both thought these things through properly. (I guess it’s a case if being thorough and knowing you have reached this decision together. After all it’s not a decision to make lightly.) They will refer you/make your booking on your behalf.
- Your partner can decide whether he wants to go under local or general anaesthetic for the surgery. My brave guy decided to go under local and while it wasn’t the best moment of his life, it was over super quickly and he was in and out in a matter of minutes.
- Healing time is not as bad as one would think and while all men respond differently, it really is not a major op at all. It is however important that they rest and have some down time to avoid infection.
- If you live in Cape Town, we would highly recommend making your booking at Driftwood Day Surgery Clinic in Doordrift Rd. They were amazing and it’s not a typical clinic by any means. It’s run from a beautiful home-style office and has a warm inviting feel about it. If you are in other areas I’m sure there are other great clinics to consider too. Your specialist doctor you have been referred to will usually the booking for you.
- Lastly it’s covered by most Medical Aids, depending on what cover you on. Obviously you would need to do your own research to ensure your is. Our procedure was covered, however we needed to utilise our Gap Cover for the private consultation.
I love the it”s going to save us money and medical aid savings in the long run because whether it’s condoms, the pill or whatever contraceptive you choose, we won’t be needing to use any of them again. Well, after three months that is! There’s still the next three months we are going to need to be extra careful! So here’s to my man. my baby daddy who took one for the team today! I love you. ♥