Let me start off by saying this : I am beyond grateful for the fact that my husband has a job that supports us and that because of his job we are able to eat, clothe our kids (and ourselves for that matter) and pay our bond every month. I will never take for granted the fact that we are in a position where paying for medical aids and retirement plans is an option for us or that we can send our kids to school because of the fact that my husband works hard for us. Believe me I always remember to acknowledge the very blessed situation we find ourselves in, one that can change at the drop of a hat. So yes, my gratitude is evident everyday in how I value and appreciate even the most basic of our human needs being met.
Saying that, having a husband who travels often for work is not always easy. In fact, solo parenting is down right kak, if I were completely honest with you. Especially when it’s longer than just a couple of days and it seems like the entire month’s calendar has been marked off by his absence. You see I actually enjoy two or three nights apart – It gives me some space to do my own thing (as much as possible anyway) and where I can get away with eggs on toast for dinner and not have to fight over the TV remote. But eventually I begin to miss the captain of our ship who co-paretns our children and supports me with all the duties that comes with raising small kids.
I’m on day 6 of my hubs being MIA and we still have 5 days to go! (We are passed the halfway mark- WIN!!) What’s made this time even worse is that Hunter has been so sick – she caught a bug (The vomit AND poop kind!) on top of a cold and she cut her first tooth on Friday just to make matters worse! SO, she has been super miserable! It’s meant that the sleep-training, which was going SO well, has had to take a back seat and although her sleeping hasn’t been too bad considering she’s so sick, I don’t have anyone to share the responsibility with. I don’t have anyone to help me in the dark lonely hours when she’s up for the third time (before my head’s even hit the pillow) with a high temp and sore ears. Emotionally I don’t have anyone there to tell how much it hurts my heart seeing her like that.
It’s waking up at the sparrows fart and giving three children breakfast and getting them all dressed for early morning school drops. It’s packing lunch boxes and remembering who has what and what clothes need to be packed. It’s breaking up fights and doing homework and putting a bay down to nap. It’s making dinner and bathing three kids and trying to time it all so that they they all get a piece of me and that they all have their needs met. Usually we share these responsibilities but with him away, it all falls on me.
I honestly don’t know what I would do without my mom and good friends who come to my aid almost daily to help lighten my load! All I know is that solo-parenting is hard, I can only imagine how hard it must be for the full-time single parents who carry the weight and responsibility full time. I have enormous amounts of respect for you!!
I guess, the main thing is that I just miss him too. I miss having my person to tell about my long day or to celebrate the small milestones with. Missing first teeth appearances and other moments like that can be hard when your husband is away. I don’t want him to miss out on any of the firsts. I know the boys miss him so much braces every morning and every night the first and last question they ask is “How many more sleeps ’til dad gets home?” It’s not easy on any of us.
Any of you mamas have husbands who are away a lot? What help you get through it with your sanity i tact and with less stress? I know planning ors a long way, but with a bay int he picture its sometimes hard!
Happy Monday! Anybody out here? I feel like I’m talking to a deep, dark and lonely abyss these days. Not far from what it feels like having a husband who travels I guess haha. 🙂
Sending you all positive vibes this week, muchos love and respect to you all xxx