Not many people know the story of how I met my husband. Today, we celebrate being married for 8 years and it feels like the perfect story to tell. While my blog generally focuses mainly on all things â€˜mommy’, one needs to face the very beautiful fact, that without this man, I may not have been a mother at all. Worse than that, I would never have been mom to Noah and Brody. So meeting him all those fateful years ago was such a pinnacle point in my life, one that I believe was orchestrated by a god so uniquely and long before our paths even crossed.
While our meeting was in no way a fairytale and we may even raise a few eyebrows, it is OUR story and I wouldn’t change a single chapter of it. Yes that probably has a lot to do with the fact that I walked away with best guy but also because I’m quite sure that everything worked out just as should be.
Brendon likes to say he fell in love with me the second he saw me walking down the stairs at our mutual friends house. He says he just knew that we were going to be in each other’s lives, in some way or another. I on the hand saw a guy who was very much out of bounds with a gorgeous tall blonde at his side. Add to the fact that I was in a rather serious relationship at the time and was just about the most naÃ¯ve and silly girl who thought she was void of all temptation, and chose to rather ignore the chemistry and deny it come hell or high water.
As it turns out you cant ignore feelings this strong because through messy break-ups we were there for each other and those feelings just grew and grew. While I would love to tell you all that he showed nothing but chivalry while trying to mend my broken heart, that would be a lie. We both dived in headfirst; finally able to see where the relationship would go. YES dodgy indeed. But I have to tell you that even then, it couldn’t have felt more right.
We tried to ignore the fact that it was too soon and that other people weren’t hurt and after a few months of trying to figure out how to move forward without doing more damage than good we decided to go our separate ways. I think we both did our best to sacrifice those feelings, hoping they would bring us back together if it was meant to be’. Brendon moved to London for a year where, would you believe, he lived with my ex boyfriend. This whole Brotherhood thing is strange I tell you, it goes deeper than, well, chicks as it turns out.
I was in touch with both of them occasionally but I spent that year focusing on myself and trying to get over two boys at the same time. Before anyone starts with the slut jokes, i’l remind you that these were the first boys I had EVER really loved. And I was 21 at the time. I remember my age because at my 21st the two people I wanted most to be there were sitting in a dirty pub in London drinking beers together. I had no idea at that point that either of them were going to make their way back. I just got on with my life, trying to move on.
When Brendon decided to come back to South Africa, my ex’s last words to him were â€˜Dude stay away from Leigh okay She’s out of bounds’ And all my friends, anticipating his return, warned me to stay away from him. My best friend looked at me in the eyes and said Leeloo don’t go down that road again, remember how messy it got? I told all my girlfriends it was the last thing on my mind. We both denied even wanting to see each other. It had been a year. We had both moved on. DONE.
The second his wheels touched down on South African soil, he sms’d me. The minute he arrived home I was at his door and an hour later we were kissing at a pool bar down the road. A whole year apart, couldn’t keep us away. I honestly felt like, although he was the one returning home, I felt like I had too. He was my person. My safe place. He was my home.
It wasn’t all rainbows and butterflies though. For one, he tried to do the right thing and ask my dad permission to date me, to which my dad bluntly said â€˜NO. I will never forget that day because my dad asked him if he had any thing to say, to which I replied No dad thanks, everything is fine And before I knew it Brendon was declaring his undying love for me while I ran out the room. It was hells bells I tell you, a moment I will never forget. He came out of the lounge and told me he couldn’t go out with me, he could only be my friend. And the bad part was that he actually meant it, he wanted to prove to my dad that he was serious about us and doing it properly. I guess my dad had a point, if we wanted to do it properly this time we really needed to DO it differently. Still seeing him drive off that day stung more than anything I had ever felt.
It was somewhere during this time we were hijacked for the second time, a really big and scary thing because those moments when you are faced with death, you realize how short life is. I think I always knew I trusted Brendon but that afternoon almost 10 years ago I realized this guy would do just about anything for me. And that included dying for me! While we were both told to put our heads on the ground and that we were going to be shot, Brendon put his head over mine covering my body with his hands. He told me he loved me and then kept chanting in my ear Love you God, we love you God. It is something we live with to this day, but we trust God even more because of it.
For an entire 6 months Brendon was introduced as my good friend, he brought me flowers and visited us for family dinners. You would think he would have called it quits and just found a girl whose dad didn’t give him the third degree and question his every motive. (Yes I get my dad was being a great dad but cummon how many 22 year old guys see it that way?) Yes we snuck the occasional kiss when we were out with friend but generally we were really trying to do things properly.
Il never forget the moment my dad introduced Brendon as my boyfriend. It was like the heavens opened up and angels sang from all corners of the earth! And then after 2 and a half years of dating he sat in the very couch he was rejected in and asked my dad if he could marry me. And although my dad still made him sweat, his answer was YES! I think his yes meant more to Brendon than mine. This man of mine has some serious balls incase you haven’t noticed by now.
My mom’s first question was Please don’t tell me you already have a ring?? To which Brendon replied well actually I do, but I i’ll only ask her in a month or two That was Wednesday night, and by that Friday we were engaged. I learnt something vey soon about Brendon. He simply cannot wait for things. He is just as impulsive as I am. I love this about him!
So that brings us to today. It was 8 years ago on one of the most beautiful May evenings that we said our I Do’s and there hasn’t been a single day that I have regretted it. We have lived in 3 apartments, two houses and finally we now reside in OUR very own HOME, we have traveled to Italy, India, Mauritius and London, we have celebrated 12 birthdays together, we have made two gorgeous children, gone through our first dishwasher (our first one packed up yesterday so my new one arrives today on our anniversary!) we have only ever owned two goldfish but said goodbye to my childhood dog together. We have fought over towels and made up over good sex, we have laughed so hard at our silliness that we cry and we have seen each other at our lowest.
We have nurtured each other back to health, put the toothpaste on each other’s toothbrushes, we have longed for each other while separated by different time zones and greeted each other like teenagers on return. We have met the Foo Fighters and we have held hands at any opportunity we get and found time and capacity to love each other despite the chaos of kids. We have lived 8 years together and there isn’t a single person I would rather do this life with.
B Boy, I loved you then, I love you now and I will love you for all eternity.
Happy anniversary my love xxx