This has to be one of the most exciting times of my life. The anticipation of welcoming my second son into the world. The planning, the nesting, the baby shower, the shopping, the decorating, the nesting, the waiting. Did I mention the nesting??? It’s a strange phenomenon that they say can hit anywhere in pregnancy. You would think that because i’ve done this before, the urge to clean, scrub and vacuum every surface in my house would not be as strong. But this could not be further from the truth. In fact I lie awake at night thinking about the Milton in the cupboard and how it can be better used. I think about the clothes I can repack away. I think about bulbs that need to be changed, hinges on doors that need to be tightened. I even think about the detergents isle in pick n pay and wonder if i’ve missed any new amazing products on the market. Ones that promise to kill germs DEAD and disinfect every fungi known to man. Not very exciting stuff to be thinking about at 2am. But it’s become my reality.
It’s a primal instinct and I have become a wild animal preparing for my young. Like a bird rearranging a nest and a mother bear storing food, or a cat finding a hidden area at home to birth her babies. I could not relate to this instinct more. I’ve washed all his clothes, and packed them in neat little piles. I’ve prepared both his small crib and big cot with the softest linen and snuggly toys out there. I’ve bought every baby product I will be needing for the next 5 months and they are all in their special place waiting to be used. Waiting as impatiently as I am to do what they are supposed to do.
It doesn’t help that I have landed up in hospital twice with threats of an early delivery. The first time with light bleeding where I was monitored over night and now more recently where I actually went into minor labor and was given drugs to prevent any further contractions. The first time, the panic hit in a big way. Flip I was 30 weeks pregnant and didn’t even have the basics ready at home. That weekend I rushed to the shops and like a bat out of hell bought everything I thought I would possibly need. Then at 35 weeks when I started having contractions I was convinced it was all happening. I’m now almost 37 weeks and the waiting is killing me. Everyday has turned into a nesting one. Even if I have to do the same thing over and over again, its something I just have to do. I find a strange comfort it making myself think it’s all very important and that it’s all vital preparation. Truth is, babies survive the most awful environments and while its special doing all I can for this child and finding joy in providing him with the most sterile and organised home, I may have to let go a little and do what my husband tells me every day. RELAX!!!
It’s easier said than done though. Just sitting around and waiting when you are about to have your world bombarded with another little life. The one minute I’m panicking, the next sipping a glass of champers with not a care in the world. I’m excited, exhilarated, stressed, overwhelmed, emotional, unsure, confident, in love. I’m all these things and so much more. I’m an expectant mom.