Ok, I’m a mess today. I’ve tried to keep it all together, but lets face it, its just not who I am. I’m the mom who oohs and aaghs over her babies every chance I get, who has mild panic attacks on the day they start school. I’m the mom who goes hysterical when they get hurt or when a child is mean to them on the playground. I’m the mom who keeps baby journals of every single little sentimental milestone and yes, I’m the mom, who on every birthday has a pretty impressive meltdown. Today is no different.

This time 4 years ago I was half way through my 11-hour labor, about to meet this boy who would change me in a ways I never knew. The longing to fall pregnant with him and the dreaming that followed could in no way give justice to the moment when I saw him face to face for the first time. And although that was by far one of my most special moments, there have been so many more since and so many more memories we continue to make.

So this post is dedicated to you Noah. The boy that has made all my dreams come true, the boy who steels a little more of my heart every single day. Here is my little list of memories that will forever remain etched in my heart. In another year or so you will be able to read this! WHAT????

  1. Having you sleep on my chest as newborn (your baby brother didn’t do this so I wish I had enjoyed it more)
  2. Swimming with you for the first time. You have always been a water baby.
  3. Running and playing with you near the river by Gagi and Papi’s house
  4. The day your big boy bed arrived. Even though you still haven’t slept through a single night in it.
  5. Going to Wimpy every day of the week when you were 1 just to get a balloon.
  6. Watching telletubbies at 5am
  7. Going on holiday and seeing the bokkie outside your window (After you prayed for it to come back) We sat at the window in the early hours of the morning watching it play in the bush. You were beyond excited!
  8. Building LEGO towers with you.
  9. Taking you to your first movie. You (being the anti-establishment kinda kid that you are) took your shoes off and sat on the stairs eating your popcorn and watching planes like it was magic.
  10. Making caves/forts/tents with you and reading inside them with your torch.
  11. Cuddling you when you land up in our bed!
  12. Jumping with you on trampoline and half way through jumping really high, we fall on our backs. We lie and look at the sky and we talk, we laugh and we do it all over again.
  13. Going to the aquarium. You love everything, except the scary puppets and the man dressed as a shark
  14. Camping at the dam. You love it. The tents, the caravan, the braaing, the boat, the swings, the swimming. You even love the drive there.
  15. Our special coffee dates and the moment when you ask me So, what should we talk about?
  16. Going away to Betty’s bay with you and your cousins and seeing the penguins everyday, ALL day!!!
  17. Taking you to parks and you always ask What should we go on first mom?’ when we all know the answer. The swing. Always the swing!
  18. Pizza Fridays with you, your dad and your brother. We know how to have fun don’t we?
  19. When you met your brother for the first time. There are simply no words.
  20. Your last beach day at school is still fresh in my memory as one of the most beautiful days I’ve ever had, just you and I.

So I will pull myself towards myself and ignore the lump in my throat. I will not come undone every time someone says, I can’t believe he is 4! I will not allow the tears to well up in my eyes after another birthday hug and I will not lie in my bed all day while you are at school looking at baby albums. I will not drink wine to drown my sorrows (before 3pm anyway) or ask myself where the time has gone. Because I’ve lived that time with you, I’ve savored the sweet moments of a life created with you in it and I know we will continue to make unforgettable memories. I know I will cherish those just as much as these. You are the best thing that ever happened to me!

Happy birthday Noah Ryder, I love you x






Love mom x

Hi I’m Leigh! Did you enjoy reading this post? I really hope so and would love you to stick around a little longer! Please feel free to browse my blog for other articles or to keep up with all the latest news and to be the first to hear about some great competitions, come and find me me on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. You can also email me directly at leeloobaggins@hotmail.com or simply subscribe below and never worry about missing out!