It’s something I have struggled with for as long as I can remember. Or maybe it really started becoming a problem when I became a mom for the first time, when time became something that was measured in 30 minute feeds and sleep cycles. Somewhere in that time of my life I lost all sense of balance and began to feel myself being pulled in too many directions, unable to keep up.
I felt the heaviness of being a new mom, wanting to make time for my friends and the constant striving to be a good wife all start to weigh down on me. Add to that the need to get to the gym in desperation to get my body back, eat well, drink enough water and get enough sleep. All of these things became a series of bad cycles as I would try to juggle it all, often losing sight of the fact that some things were a priority while other things could wait. Sometimes it was a matter of facing the facts that it was impossible to do everything, be everything to everyone and have all my shit together. Some days I really did deserve the 3 donuts, 5 cookies and loaf of white bread.
Slowly, as I came out of the deep trenches of keeping a newborn alive, I started to get pieces of my life back. I started seeing my friends more and even managed to get out the house every so often for a girls night. Husband and I started having sit down meals together (where we both actually ate at the same time) and I got my tush to the gym a couple of times week. Although my first-born was possibly one of the worst sleepers ever to be born, we had worked out a routine where I was getting enough sleep to function and for a while I felt like life was getting easier to manage.
Fast forward 2 years and I found myself in that same place with another newborn to keep alive (this time with a toddler too), less time for myself and more “STUFF” to do. Again my sense of balance was all over the place and AGAIN I had to make my way back to prioritising some things over others. I think this happens every time you have a new baby, or, start a new job, go back to work or take on a new assignment or project. Things, no matter what stage of life, come up and throw us off course and all of a sudden we are performing a world-class juggling act. The thing is though, we can only go so long without dropping the balls.
I thrive on balance and in the same breath it is one of the hardest things for me to maintain. I’m the kind of girl who is either training for a marathon or sitting on the couch for weeks with series and take out. I’m either eating green kale smoothies till they are coming out of my ears or indulging in anything I lay my eyes on. I’m either getting 10 hours sleep every night or staying out till the wee hours of the morning for three nights in a row. I’m either detoxing from alcohol and declaring a no drinking week or I’m drinking a case of wine a night (Kidding not kidding). I’m either calm and patient with my kids or screaming at them. I’m either passionate about my blogging or wanting to throw in the towel.
While I get that it’s normal to go through patches like this, I’ve realised that it has become a dangerous cycle for me, especially as a mom. I have allowed these extremes to dictate how I feel about myself and my life. In losing self-control I have formed bad habits that are not healthy to my body, my mental well-being or my spiritual life.
I realise that these things need to change and I know that finding a balance is what is going to benefit me in every way possible. Teaching my children the value of living well and with a true sense of control is a valuable life lesson that I’m hoping they will learn through me! the only way that is going to happen is if I show them, if lead the way.
So here’s to the next season, learning to love myself without making excuses. To not running in extreme directions but finding a true equilibrium in all the facets of my life -time spent with kids, at the gym, eating well (and rewarding myself treats when I’ve earned them) writing, being a wife, a friend. Here’s to finding mental steadiness and emotional stability that helps me be the better ME. Here’s to prioritising the important stuff and letting the irrelevant stuff take a back seat. Heres to committing to something and seeing it through. Here, my friends is to the beautiful and life changing thing called BALANCE!
Who else is with me?