Here’s the thing. I always wanted to have girls. From the second kids entered my (somewhat naive) thoughts, I had visions of being a mom to little cherubs with gold ringlets in their hair. I would be the mom at ballet recitals pinning up miniature buns and sewing ribbons on their shoes. The mom that painted their nails with Tinkerbell nail polish and put them in pretty lace dresses for princess parties. Or any day for that matter. I realize how silly this sounds because lets face it how does one ensure gold ringlets? Who knew what our kids would even look like? But more than that, there is a 50 percent chance of it going either way when gender is concerned and then once you have had one sex the chance of having the other gets smaller. Or so I’ve been told. But its funny how you feel so strongly about something, so strong in fact that I was convinced Noah was girl. We called him Mia. What a beautiful little girl we were going to have!
You can imagine my shock when at our 23 week scan he finally showed us his bits after mooning us for so long. My little Mia was a boy. There had to be a mistake. Of course once it eventually sunk in, (which was only when I was handed my baby boy after giving birth to him) I realised everything was just as it should be. This was my son, this was where he belonged, and this was our destiny. I couldn’t have loved another child more if I tried. And I even admitted that I was glad he was a boy. I mean of course I was!
When I was told we were expecting another boy I literally felt my throat close up. Though we never even openly admitted it to one another, my husband and I both felt the desperation for a little girl return and we longed for the news to be in our favor. I felt like I had been punched in the stomach and all my dreams of pink bows and dolly tea parties dissipated before my very eyes. Again I wondered why, if my feelings about having a girl were so strong, was I being called to mother sons? BOYS!!! How would I cope with another willy in the house and the growing levels of testosterone? Since that moment I have not only come to accept my soccer mom status, I have begun to revel in it. And as the months have gone by I have realised many things.
Here are the things I know now that I wish I knew then.
1. No matter what sex your child is, THAT is the child for you. We need to learn to accept that whatever God blesses us with, is His plan for us. We have no control over these things. Gender, sickness, disease, disabilities. God has chosen us to parent the children given to us. The fact that I was so caught up in having a girl when I had two healthy children seems so selfish now.
2. Mothering boys versus mothering girls may offer different experiences but no matter what gender your child is, a whole world of surprises awaits you. I may not get to experience ballet lessons and frilly dresses, but I get to watch my son discover his amazing soccer talent and excel at sports. And yes I hear some of you screaming but my girl does soccer! or My son loves ballet! I’m not trying to put anyone in a box or stereotype but lets face it as our kids get older their interests change and boys generally gravitate towards more BOY things. And the same goes for girls with their dolls and pretty dresses. I see many soccer tournaments, camping trips, fishing excursions and skate boarding in my future. And it’s a pretty cool thought!
3. I’m a much better mother to boys than I thought I would be. While I previously thought that the girliness in me (and the love of cute things, shopping, dancing and crafts) would certainly be in my favor with girls, I have realised that I possess other strengths that assist with parenting boys. I wonder whether I would have been a good mother to an emotionally charged little girl when I’m quite an emotional person myself!
4. I’ve realised the weight and responsibility of mothering sons. I have a huge responsibility to raise them well with good values and a deep respect for everyone, especially woman. It’s my responsibility to ensure they are grounded, respectful, kind hearted, courteous and will be the kind of man I would want for a daughter I may never have. I realize now the importance of my role. I wish I knew then just how significant my role would be.
5. Boys are flipping cute too! Before my boys were born I honestly thought it were only girls who were cute enough to melt your heart. But BOY could I have been more wrong?!! My boys are edible! Gorgeous! Just melt your heart cute! And now days you get to dress them up in all kinds of cool outfits. Boys are rad!!!
6. The fact that we have two sons has allowed us to bear witness to the gift of brotherhood. My boys are already the best of friends and I only see the bond getting stronger! It’s the most special thing to see them become better friends as the months go by.
7. I get to be spoilt by THREE dudes now. As they get older (And I age accordingly) I hope they will be the kind of sons that look out for their mom and treat me well. Being the only lady in the house means I will be well protected and cared for.
At the end of the day, without sounding cliched, every child is a unique gift. We get to explore and unwrap all the different layers of each individual child and as they grow up we discover so many new things about them, no matter what their gender. I may have longed for what I thought was going to make me more happy, but the reality is that I couldn’t be happier than with what I have now, right in front of me in the form of two gorgeous little boys. So often we think we know what we want, what we need and what we will be better at, but the reality is that God knows us better than we know ourselves. He knew I needed these boys and that if ever there was a moment of hind site it’s now, realizing these boys are the perfect fit for me.
Hi I’m Leigh! Did you enjoy reading this post? I really hope so and would love you to stick around a little longer! Please feel free to browse my blog for other articles or to keep up with all the latest news and to be the first to hear about some great competitions, come and find me me on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. You can also email me directly at leeloobaggins@hotmail.com or simply subscribe below and never worry about missing out!
Leigh I have a little girl..a little cherub…the ringlets and picture perfect round face 🙂
Does she want me to do her hair…NO ways she runs away from the brush the minute she see’s me holding it… Can I dress her in all the beautiful clothes in her cupboard…Hell NO she chooses what she wants to wear, (which is usually the same “princess dress” which is meant for an 18 month old 🙂
Does she want me to lie with her and talk softly and giggle..NOPE she wants dad to play Goldie locks and the 3 bears, over and over and over again. She is the epitome of “girly” and yet her heart belongs to dad and her strong spirit leads her in the exact direction she chooses to dance, ( that day.) She is wild and fierce and totally FREE. She is perfect in every way, and has made me cry silently at night more times than I care to remember. She is everything and absolutely nothing like what I dreamt up and imagined my little girl to be. She has taught me SOOOO much and in absolute regard to this post of yours, she has taught me that what we imagine and dream up “Motherhood” to be, is nothing short of something completely different to what we actually end up experiencing… Sometimes I think a little boy would be sooo amazing as he would be mummys boy and his heart would belong to me!! Regardless of whether I get to experience a boy or another girl, I could not imagine anything better than what I got 🙂 100% RIGHT we get what we need, gifts from the Lord to warm our hearts, help us grow and show us what love is. 🙂
What a beautiful post! I a the complete opposite but was in the same boat (oxymoron if I’ve ever seen one!) I only ever thought and spoke blue when I was pregnant with my first – I looked at boys clothes, loved boys schools and only chose boys names. And now I have two perfect princesses – with admittedly a little disappointment when each were born to find no extra dangly bits but within seconds, all disappointment had faded and I’ve been besotted ever since. To be honest, I still think I’m more of a boy mom but I know this my plan in life for me, my girls and our family. Maybe a third one day… And maybe a third princess too! x
Caley im so sorry for such a delayed reply… your message has been sitting in my inbox waiting approval. Thanks for your kind words and comments. Its amazing to know we are all connected in this little blogging community. 🙂 Love yours! You going to have to share your secret to making gorgeous girls 🙂 xxx
Well written but who is to say God might still surpize you with that little girl. Being a mom who has a girl and then two boys I can say it has been fun I will say girls are much more difficult the older they get. My boys are my much easier now that they are older. They were much more difficult to raise than my daughter. They were bad sleepers she slept through from six weeks. I never had to motivate her to work through out her schooling and now she is a graduate moving onto Honours. My one son constantly required me to hound him to study. He however is very musical and creative and so perhaps the school system we have was not quite the right fit for him. My other son needs no pampering or coaxing and is always top of his class. I think though that he has wAtched me scream at his brother and would rather avoid that. These last four years of having a daughter has been rough. I raised an independent thinker and oh boy do we clash. My dream that my daughter would be my friend have been shattered she does not like shopping with me or coffee dates, she prefers her own little world. She is a daddy’s girl and adores her dad. So in conclusion I would say it is all about personality types and that being a mom is life’s most beautiful gift and that if you should be blessed with another child sex wouldn’t matter you would just see it is a different kind of love
Just beautiful:) so true too
I have two girls. One likes dresses and frills and princessy things, the other is a bit more of a wild child who I think may be a tomboy. She’s only 2 so I don’t want to put her in a box, but she’s definitely more adventurous than her big sister. You’re right that each child is a unique, precious gift from God and He gives you the children you are meant to have.
Thanks for writing this. I am also a mom to a little boy. I was told at my 12 week scan I was having a girl and then a few weeks later told it was a boy! Hectic to expect one thing and get another. But now I am so happy with my little man. There is a special bond between a mom and her son.
This. Just this. I feel exactly the same and have had similar thoughts regarding ‘our’ girl baby. Now, a year after my second son was born, I realise how (like you say) selfish I was and how blessed I am. PS also the fact that I get to save a bit by reusing my eldest’s clothing is awesome!
Lovely Kim, they will be best friends I’m sure! Thanks for commenting and sharing a piece of your heart with me…
I loved reading your post and I felt like you wrote my story. Just “my” little girl was Emily. ..? I was disappointed when we find out second time around our Emily is again a little boy…but oh boy if I ever knew the love I will have for these precious boys. My life seems complete with them and I knew there was a reason from God giving me these little boys.
Goosebumps knowing someone feels so closely the emotions that i went through and who now loves her boys as much as i love mine, thank you so much for sharing 🙂 xxx
I am a much better boy mom than girl mom. I feel a lot less pressure in raising boys.