Dear first time mommy friend:..
I sit here, all these miles between us and my heart can’t help but ache knowing I’m not there to experience this with you. You are a mom now and as you now know, you will never be the same.
The first thing you said to me was I love him so much! I never expected to love him THIS much! I’m just going to come out and say it, I told you so.
I wish I could be with you to tell you how beautifully you are doing as a first time mom, to remind you to breathe, to take every day in your stride and trust your instincts. I wish I could tell you in the crazy moments that you are the best mom for your son and that things will get easier . that you will eventually find your feet again.
I wish I could come over with homemade pasta and make sure you eat before running you a bath. I wish I could be there to make your tea (and heat it up every 5 minutes.) I wish I could hug you when you feel it’s all becoming too much.
Most of all I wish I could hold the exquisite little creature that you have created. I wish I could cradle him in my arms and talk to him about how wonderful his mommy is and tell him stories of our adventures together . and how much I miss those days and our time together.
Motherhood is magical and scary and overwhelming and chaotic all at the same time. It has the power to bring you to your knees at times, but it also has the potential to make you see things in a way you never did before.
It’s not always going to be easy my love, but it will be the most rewarding job you have ever done. I know with all my heart, even with so many years between us, that you are going to be the best mom to this little boy. The perfect fit.
Here are 8 things I want you to remember when the going gets tough:
- You are capable. There will be times where you doubt you ability and question your role as a mother. Cast that self-doubt aside and believe in yourself. You are strong and so very capable
- You are the perfect match . you were chosen to be this baby’s mommy! YOU! Nobody else knows him better than you. You are a match made in heaven.
- Trust your instincts . You will soon discover you a have a new superpower! You will start to recognize a feeling in the pit of your stomach and you will slowly discover what it means and how to use it.
- Don’t be bullied into doing anything that you feel doesn’t work for you. You will hear so many stories, have so many opinions thrown at you; Breastfeeding vs. formula, Crying it out/ Sleep training vs. co sleeping, Dummy vs. Self soothing: Do what you feel is right for your and your baby.
- Be kind and gentle with yourself . don’t beat yourself up emotionally or be too harsh on your mommy body. Love your body in a new way- look what you made in it!!!
- Make time for yourself to sleep, eat and rest. As hard as that sounds in the beginning, you will get pieces of your life back and its important to put time back into yourself. You will be a better mom for it.
- Don’t be scared to let daddy help! It’s a mistake so many of us make, thinking we know better. Let your man help you from day one. It relieves you from having to do it all yourself.
- Keep perspective. There will be days where you wonder what on earth you are doing cooped up inside with a niggly baby. Go for a walk in the park or visit a friend. Go drink COFFFEEEEE!! Get out of the house, get some fresh air in your lungs and have a change of scenery. It will do you both the world of good.
Oh my darling heart how I wish I was with you right now. The last time I saw you we were young a wild and free. Now we are both moms! How I long to be close to you, seeing you in your new role. How I long to be reunited after all these years.
I’m so proud of you and love you more than you will ever know. Please know that even though we are separated my miles of land and sea, I’m only a phone call away. Day or night. (Literally because we are in complete opposite time zones!!)
Always there in spirit,