Ok I’m just gonna come right out and say it. The thought of spending 12-16 hour days in the confinements of our small apartment with my darling man? Ya, it kinda scared the crap outta me initially. Look, I love the dude. More than that, I actually LIKE him. We’ve always had a great relationship and haven’t ever felt the need to breathe or take time apart. BUT, we had never really been challenged to spend every waking moment together, day after day, week after week. MONTH AFTER MONTH!
I think the reality is that no matter how much you adore someone’s company, no matter who you are, you begin question how a bunch of people (your family) with some very different personalities, are going to survive living in a 140 square apartment with no breaks. Yet, here I am on the other side of 120 days saying, not only has our marriage survived, it’s actually grown in many ways. I wouldn’t give these days and months spent with my partner in such close proximity up for the world.
So here are 25 things Lockdown has taught my marriage, many of them things I have discovered or been freshly reminded about the man I get to call my co-parent and life companion.
- We not only love each other, we LIKE each other. This goes a really long way during a crisis like this because truth is, we haven’t just tolerated each other, but actually enjoyed each other.
- We make a good team. Sure it’s took a while to get onto a good routine and I had to learn to do what he has begged of me for over a decade to do – ASK for help and TELL HIM what I need help with. Turns out I’m a better delegator than I thought. 🙂
- My husband LISTENS – contrary to popular belief ladies, men can be trained. With regular reminding these constant requests soon became an everyday habit, and eventually he not only got the kid’s breakfast sorted, but was emptying the bin and making our bed every morning. Without any eyeballing, huffing or talking under my breath.
- My husband is great at what he does. I guess I’ve always know this, but seeing first-hand and even listening in on some of his Zoom meetings, I have gotten to be a fly on the wall and see just how talented and incredible my man is at his job. (If by fly you mean walking into our bedroom/day office and being greeted by several businessmen on a screen with nothing but a towel on. Yup that happened.) Seeing how he does business, how he conducts himself made me fall in love with that side of him on a whole new level. Turns out, seeing your man own a Strat meeting is helluva sexy ladies!
- No matter how stressful and taxing it’s been with three kids we have still always wanted to carve out time for each other. We have still always been possessive over our time together. And that says a lot when you’re constantly living in each other’s pocket.
- Despite the challenges and really stressful times we are so much stronger than we thought. Look, we fight like any other couple, we get annoyed and have moments where we literally want to walk out. But we have managed to keep our promise and stick it out for the long haul. Lockdown has shown us our marriage is built on love, but also a good dose of hard grit.
- We definitely don’t need any more kids. Yup, as much as we love them, I think we’re good for now.
- Our marriage has survived the 124729 trips to the shops for milk, bread, yoghurt, nappies and gas for our heaters and stove. I think all husbands deserve a standing ovation for this one.
- All the convincing in the world won’t make my husband change his mind about cushions and indoor plants. It’s been a strange time of acceptance and I’ve made peace with this.
- There’s nothing that whiskey, wine or G & T can’t fix after a long day or bad argument.
- My husband can cook. While I’ve always known this, its never been more appreciated and welcomed than it has during a time where I simply couldn’t muster the willpower to whip up yet another meal for our bottomless pits called children.
- We make the worst exercise partners. Partly because I’m fitter than he is and partly because he just makes me laugh too much.
- My husband can iron better than I can.
- While he can iron better than me, don’t ask him to wipe a kitchen counter. Don’t even ask him to pick up a wet cloth.
- All the begging in the world won’t see it to it that my door hinges are fixed or the handles of my kitchen cupboard screwed back on. It’s been three months in lockdown with NO BIG PLANS. My husband will wipe a kitchen counter before this gets ticked off the DIY list.
- We survived homes-schooling two kid and toddler, which means we can survive just about ANYTHING!
- My husband will do absolutely ANYTHING for me – including making home-made pineapple beer when our booze runs out.
- We survived drinking half a batch of pineapple beer in one night, and our marriage survived the hangover. It’s safe to say neither of us make great nurses on such occasions – Survival of the fittest is how we roll!
- We generally bring out the best in one another AND always talk about each other with fondness. I rue the day I become one of those nasty grouchy old who is constantly bringing my partner down. I hear the way my man speaks about me with such pride to all those who will listen and it warms the cockles of my sometimes weary heart. Men reading this, build your wives up with words of affirmation and never stop telling them they are beautiful. That’s an order.
- Another one for the acceptance books : My husband will never hang up his headphones. Not even a worldwide lockdown during a GLOBAL pandemic can damper my man’s passion for music. Even if that means 15 hours of set up time for a 45min live stream on Five FM. Well done my boy your perseverance paid off in the end.
- No matter what, my hubs will always have a faster metabolism than me. And I will for the rest of my days on God’s green earth resent him for it. All the lockdown food and baking are testament to this. DESPITE THE FACT that I train my butt off on the daily.
- We love each other at our worst, but are both quick to forgive. Him more easily than I. There I said it.
- We are good at listening to each other and lingering over long conversations. Things like our beautiful children, our passions, our regrets, our dreams for the future…. we never run out of things to talk about. He’s the first person I want to tell something to, good or bad.
- We are good at reading each other and seeing what the other needs to thrive. For him, he needs positive affirmation and small gestures of kindness (read: food brought to him while he’s on Zoom calls every 3 hours and physical touch) For me, I need time carved out for me away from the kids to clear my head. This is usually in the form of a long run/workout, which he encourages me to enjoy everyday for my own mental health. (I think he fears me crawling down that dark hole and the person I become If I don’t, but whatever motivates him hey?)
- Without God at the centre of our marriage, we wouldn’t be where we are today. I can say without a shadow of a doubt, our marriage is testament to a God who has carried us through storms. A God who despite our own shortcomings has showered us with his love and grace in abundance. A God who has never given up on us, who has fought for our marriage along side us and, wanted the very best for us.
To my husband who continues to learn along side me, thank you for your constant love and support and your never ending patience – I’m not sure there are many other men who would put up with me. 🙂